After searching the internet for lists of what the "average" person has in his/her household, I found it difficult to come up with anything.
I have read multiple lists of what one needs for a new house- from furniture to cleaning supplies, articles connected to poverty and what essentials we need to survive, and this article on a blog called LifeHack.
The author of this particular article listed 3 reasons as to why he held on to his extra stuff he had:
- To avoid the discomfort of empty space
- To meet the expectations of a social group
- Because procurement is enjoyable
Sterile and minimal are two different feelings. My house was sterile. I brought in things to the house that would warm it up. I have yet to put them up. I want a minimal and simple look, while functional at the same time.
My bedroom was empty after my Hoarders friends were here. My room was physically cold and I felt like I was guest in my own house. It was a horrible feeling. I ending up moving some furniture around and unloaded some boxes, and brought items back in that I was going to hang up. Those pictures are still on my desk waiting to be hung up. My clothes have crept out of my closet to be sorted through for consignment and give away- I just can't seem to get through it in a weekend. This is not normal. I have a perfect picture in my head of what it should look like. My room is not functional. It's the company I keep. I'm not ready for empty space.
The pictures that I have of the spaces in my head look perfect, seem realistic, yet are so out of reach. It may be due to my issue of perfection. If it isn't going right, I quit. It it doesn't look right, I find something else to do. I'm so hyper-aware of this issue, that I don't like starting the project, but in the end there is failure right around the corner. I've gotten so used to things being done so-so to my liking, that I've lived with it. I'm craving to be "good" at something again, while enjoying it. Failure is not socially acceptable, nor is it what others expect from me. It's horrible to disappoint people who love you, but those who look up to you.
I envy people who can clean their house in 2-4 hours. I have no idea what that reality is- I've never experienced that as an adult in my personal living space.
My grandma would kill me (if she weren't already dead) if she knew about my situation and the TV show. I struggled as kid to clean my room and had a mini-intervention in 6th grade. Dona bagged up everything that was on the carpet and brought everything to her garage and I had to earn the items back. This included my clothing. To top if off I received a City Dump laundry bag after. From middle school through high school my room stayed cleaned and I developed some OCD tendencies. It was one of the things I could control. Junior and senior year in college I started having "organization" issues and found the procurement of items enjoyable. It soothed the depression I was dealing with, yet it seemed okay because I was "planning" for being a teacher and living alone in an apartment. Being prepared was essential in my mind. Preparedness = happiness.
Clearly I've been to therapy (a lot) and I know what my issues are. What's worse is knowing you need to fix it having to repeat and repeat and repeat.
P.S. I still haven't found a suggested list of what one should own.
No comments:
Post a Comment